The Power of Purpose

I've struggled with finding my topic this week. I want to write something fun, quirky, and entertaining. My desire is to make you laugh, helping you forget whatever difficult or dark times you find yourself in. I want to be full of energy and positivity, spinning tales of heroes and happy thoughts. These are the things I hope will flow from my pen (keyboard, actually).

However, I find myself wallowing in self-pity. Here I sit, bored, missing my family, missing my students and co-workers, looking out into overcast skies and relentless sameness. Every day is Saturday and it's horrid. Inspiration is all around but it isn't resonating with me. Trying to boost my mood with music and books works for a while, but it's just a bandage. The wound is still there, not healing, maybe even festering.

Today I lashed out at the one person who is always there (literally as well as figuratively these days). My best friend, my cheerleader-how he will hate that I called him that but I'll leave it because it's funny- my balance, and my harmony. I was feeling sorry for myself and he didn't respond according to the script I had written in my head therefore, I hurt him with my words. That's something at which I'm quite adept. It's OK, we're OK. We'll talk it out and move on but the root is still there, needing to be ripped up and tossed away.

The root, I believe, is my lack of purpose during this time of social distancing. We are created for a purpose; God has called us and gifted us accordingly. I am a shepherd, but my sheep are scattered beyond the daily reach of my voice. I have been called to pastor teens. I don't have a title, other than Mrs. Trish. I don't have formal training. I don't work for a church. My ministry is extremely relational. Sometimes it's eating junk food and listening to the latest school drama, other times it may include long text conversations about dreams, social media, relationships, and end times. This ministry includes editing college essays and helping with homework. Most of these things can be done effectively by phone but there is a huge element lacking. The warmth of shared laughter, hugs, and the joy of sitting around the table together can't be shared via text or video. There is no cheating at UNO, no groans when it's my turn to choose the music, no jokes with abysmal punch lines, no huge grins when celebrating a goal reached or an exam passed.

My task, this week is to find new ways to serve my purpose. I can't hug my kids but I can pray fervently for them. I can encourage them in my video messages to seek Christ. I can check up on them, making sure they are staying on top of their schoolwork and out of bad relationships. My purpose hasn't changed, it's just been tweaked a bit. Maybe I have carried too much on my shoulders creating a need to be necessary. I know that God is working and I know that He will not abandon them. They have to come to depend on Him rather than me. I am a conduit, not the One who fills the vessel. I am a shepherd but He is The Shepherd. I may guide, but ultimately, He directs their paths. My task is to love, to support, to be consistently pointing them to God.

“The purpose of life is to discover your gift; the work of life is to develop it, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away.” — David Viscott.