We Really Do Need Each Other

If you would have asked me 2 weeks ago what my perfect day would look like, I may have flippantly answered,“ a perfect day would be me, alone, with a book”. And for one day that might be true. I typically say that I am most comfortable on my own. No need to make conversation (not good at it), no need to dress up or fix my hair (not good at it), no need to listen to anyone talk about their problems (good at this), really no need to be involved. Socializing wears me out, talking is not my strong suit and reading is easy for me.

I've read hundreds of books, some wonderful and some pretty awful, but the thing about a book is, you can put it down when you're tired of it or just need a break. You can donate it if it's sub-par or you can put it back on the shelf to read again and again. You can't do that with people. They are always there in some form. Aggravating, boring, selfish, rude, needy, but also stimulating, encouraging, hilarious, engaging, comforting. You can't put them down when they are draining you emotionally and texting you in the wee hours about what they perceive to be an emergency. I mean you can, but that would make you a bit of a jerk. (Not talking about toxic people here)

I guess my point is that until we leave this earth,we are going to be surrounded by humans with all their exasperating faults and glorious imperfections. We are all made in God's image and each of us is necessary. I have been on my own most of last week and this, and it is lonely. All my daydreams of solitude were misleading. Instead of peacefulness, I feel loneliness. I have lost the art of being content with my own company. I was quite good at it as a child. I would play for hours on my own, making up stories in my head , sometimes writing them down and often drawing them. But I realize now that I found my truest joy in the company of others. Whether it was running wild in the fellowship of my brothers or cousins, listening to my dad and uncles tell jokes, hearing my mom play the piano in the other room and feeling the notes rush through my soul, or giggling with my best friend under the stars, people made my life complete. As I have been home these past few days, barely seeing my children and grandson, unable to hug them or sit down to Sunday lunch together, missing my high school students and the laughter they bring to my life, missing my parents because I can't go visit them as planned, I've realized that I need each of you in my life. You all bring beautiful things into existence that I can't generate on my own.